Harry Chan, Chinese Stud - Letter Twenty Two

Dear Meg, I wish to say that I am elated to see you alive in interviews using your own mouth and not still photos. I have learned not to trust the still photos of you and your family and the written articles in the media. Almost all of the information is wrong with one news reporter copying off another news reporter. You look so cute for an elderly chick. Now getting back to why I am writing to you. There seems to be some confusion in my research of your life about how you came into exsistence and your relationship with your sister "Jennifer Tilly". I first met Jennifer on the corner of Corson Avenue and Westervelt Avenue in Staten Island New York in 1968. She said "Hi, I'm Susan!" We immediately took a liking to her because she was tall for her age. Then she said "Actually my name is Jennifer". She was a leader and took care of us well. You were standing nearby when she introduced herself to you saying "Hi, I'm your sister Jennifer!" You started shaking and screamed "I DON'T HAVE A SISTER!". This reaction always stuck out in my mind. This led me to believe that you and Jennifer were raised separately in different households. When Jennifer saw that you became frightened she said "Actually I am a cousin who is like a sister!" and she backed off. She herself was not sure of her relationship toward you. You had just seen her for the first time. She started playing with us kids and we thought that she was very pretty but she wasn't always around like you were. "Bonnie" never really took possesion of Jennifer. She took possesion of you but not her! The theory entered my mind that you have two separate mothers - Patricia Tilly is Jennifer's Mom, and Bonnie Coultas is your mom. But one might say that none of Bonnie's other children are oriental, so how can this be? Katrina is a lovely blonde with Spanish skin. She seemed to be white and hispanic. How can this be? Well I think that when Bonnie lived in California maybe during a cocktail party "Harry Chan" was naughty with Bonnie his sister in law and that is how you came into exsistence. They somehow tried to cover it up by making some other man sign the birth certificate even though Bonnie was single. That would give you the last name of "Coultas". I do not know if the adulterous affair became known to Patricia, but as you know she divorced Harry Chan, And maybe it created a war between Patricia and Bonnie. You may have been abandoned because of this event and some how ended you up in Staten Island. Bonnie did not evan know your first name. She was a double for your real mom. She was too young to be your mom only about 21 years old. The real Bonnie Coultas was in Indiana. Critters? You once brought me to the Critters in 1986. But I also think that "Mr Brown Pants" had both parents eliminated even Jennifer's. Harry did not get divorced - he was eliminated. You and Jennifer were orphans but the late 1960's. By the time you visited Indiana in the early 1970's all those people had been replaced. Therefore, you and Jennifer are half sisters and Katrian is you half sister. I suppose that they rejected you in Indiana. You ended up back in Staten Island in 1976 and you and I ran into each other in the "Jesus Van". They introduced me to you as "Margaret Coultas". They said that you had a problem with fornication and I was told to speak to you about the problem. You and your sister did what you had to to survive. About a year later you yelled out to me "I don't care what you say, I am becoming an actress!!" From then on you were with people in the entertainment bussiness but still being stalked by gangsters. If you got money they were right there to steal it. From your book "Singing Songs" I know that I am right about some of these things. They even made a transsexual Bonnie and maybe you did not notice the difference. I know that I am right about this because it happened to myself and everyone that I know. All my family and friends are missing from kindergarten to the present day. I began looking for everyone that I know back in 1999. I still have not found any of them. The same man that you know was seen around all of them. If I did find someone, they were deformed and had no correct knowledge of the past. In other words they are imposters. They began to enter my house and they made me homeless. When I was with you in Manhattan this is what your guests were trying to do. I think that you were taken in by imposters in the late 1960's who began to torture you and Jennifer. Luckily you escaped some of them by becoming famous. I do not know what became of Katrina only that the last time I saw her she was on the helicoptor with Mr. Brown Pants in the summer of 1986. They threw me out along with one of your doubles. Maybe they threw Katrina out also.The reason I mention this women Katrina is because you and her have the same exact birthday. Is it a coincidence? Or did one of you change your birthday on a new birth certificate? I wish that you would tell me. Harry was a Stereo Salesman. Someone really changes all your info. Because of these changes it is harder to find the truth of the past. I found Katrina recently and she does not know you or me. I believe that Katrina was the one in your book who had the dress on that was ready to explode. It was tourquiose blue. I now have parents who forgot that they have grand children.... Until my next letter, Love, John Moreno

Half Sister Celebrities - Letter Twenty One

Dear Emily, I am happy to see your mom on the screen again. I cannot say it again that she is alive and healthy... I am so happy. I want you to try to speak to me around her for a moment. You may have  two other half sisters that you do not know about.. I will explain. I was once dragged to a house in Long Island by "Auggie" back in 1980. When I got there, your mom was there along with "Tom Berenger" and "Glenn Close". To make a long story short... Glenn Close made a pass at me and we were on her water bed for several hours. It was a huge pink water bed maybe 15 feet by 15 feet. I was beat up by home invaders while we were in bed.... I do not remember if we made love, but she was smoking a cigarette at the end. Look at the photo above and you decide. It turned out to be the setting for "The Big Chill". Your mom was at odds with me during this ordeal, but it mostly Glenn Close's move. Anyway, the whole cast from the film "The Big Chill" was there. I did not know it at the time but Glenn Close was starring in her first film and was upset because I had not seen her film called "The World According To Garp" which was playing in the theatres at the time. She was happy that I did not recognize her saying "It better that you do not recognize me - then we can be friends". Maybe we made love. I have trouble remembering because I was beat up by Tom Berenger and two other people. The above women may be your half sister. While we were in bed, she asked me my name. I was told by certain people to not use my real name. She therefore asked me to use a nickname. So I choose the name  "Richard Starkey". She said "Who is Richard Starkey?" I was surprised that she did not recognize the name  of one of the "Beatles"... A.K.A ..."Ringo Starr".  I said "Richard Starkey is one of the Beatles.. Ringo Starr..". Oh! she said, then I will call you "Dick!". I became a little angry for a moment and said "Don't call me Dickie"... "Dickie, Dickie, Dickie", she was teasing me. So I said "Call me by my real first name... John!!" So she began to call me "John Starkey"... And her daughter is now named "Anna Starke" after a movie producer named "John Starke". What a coincidence! I was beat up several times in those days - even thrown off a roof back in those days and that is why I did not remember until recently. I had even forgot my relationship wjth "Kirstie Alley". The death of "John Lennon" a few months later had caused me to black out the entire year. Now moving forward three years, I had the affair with Meg in my 73 Monte Carlo in September - October 1983. Shortly after that - maybe a week after I was wandering around when I got flagged down by the "ParaKeet Head". "Let's take a ride", he said. We ended up in Woodbridge New Jersey in the Woodbridge Mall parking lot. There was a women with a black pixie hairdo in a police type uniform talking with a man with gold framed glasses who resembled "Omar Gadafy". The ParaKeet got out and was beginning to speak with them. After about three minutes the women in the uniform opened my door and asked me what I was doing here. I became nervous and said "I not doing nothing". "Oh yeah?". she said. I thought that she was a female police officer for a moment when her shirt was opening and she exposed her breasts and began kissing me. I followed through when she removed one pant leg and we began to make love in the same seat as Meg. Without going into the rest of the gory details, her daughter was born in June 1984, almost the same time as you Emily. Her photo is above along with her mom - we will call her "Cleopatra Kadaphy" for now. It may be a coincidence or maybe she was already pregnant - I do not know but maybe she is your half sister. Sorry to get so personal. I am not rich but maybe you can secretly DNA her and me and you and David and Anna Starke and..... I can't remember. I have not seen anything on the internet with you in it lately. I hope that you are alright. Until my next letter, Love, John Moreno.