"Flan Parents" - Letter Twenty Six

Dear Emily and Meg, I am glad that you meg are going to be on "Reelz" in your "Bomb Girls" show. I notice that Emily is completely off the the internet. Why? Maybe that is good. Your grand father "Fred Zimmermann" has changed to "Fred Zinneman". I do not know if this a typo-graphical error or a trick to confuse identity theives. Also I never understood how a man named "David Bartlett Zinnemann" could end up with the name "Tim Zinnemann". Is there something fake going on? Or how I got you "Meg" pregnant and this poor man got the blame. There seems to be a lot of trickery going on around you people. Here is another strange thing. The photos that I have seen of Tim look like "Bruce Davidson" , the actor who originally played "Willard" in the 1970 film. Is Tim the original movie producer who was an assisstant film editor in the "Pink Panther" film? Anyway your lives never cease to amaze me in the fact that there is always a discrepancy somewhere like for an example the fact that you Meg went to two different High Schools at once. Sealth High School and Esquimalt High School. In a recent interview you explain how you went to see "Shakespeare - The Story of a Nervous Spear Chucker" from your school in Canada. Yet there is a photo next to a "Randy Vahlberg" at graduation at a Seattle High School. By the way, none of those classmates have ever heard of you - I just had to give them all a call. So someone put your photo in that yearbook even though you were not there. But to my memory you were never at either school - you dropped out. I had seen you and Jennifer here in Staten Island standing near crowds like carnivals and churches etc.. trying to be noticed. And that was in 1977-1978 during which time you should have been graduating two high schools three thousand miles away. Both you and your sister wore cute maids uniforms near crowds here in Staten Island. I could go on but I am not trying to mock you but I believe in complete truth. If we ever see each other again do not be afraid to tell the truth. You do not lie too much in you interviews. Maybe you took your GED since then. Now it is not just you who sometimes lies but apparently it began before you were born. There was some sort of attraction to your family whereby con artists were always attacking. Therefore I got lied to about you and you got lied to about me. This ruined our friendship and I did not know that you even had kids. I got away from the point. When I first met you in 1968 there was this woman "Bonnie" who took over your life along with a "ParaKeet Head" like the same guy from my book "The Missing Bones Website". It is the same man who was at the rotundra in Manhattan in 1985. This man too followed your life even though I do not know who he is to this day. I had seen him around me all my life and never even thought to ask him his name except once. His first name is "Myron". In my research I found out that none of these people are related to you. Your mom was born to "Ray Virgil Tilly" and "Ellen A. Tilly" in Springfield Illonois. She did not have any brothers or sisters. So "Bonnie" could not have been your aunt or cousin. I think that she was either the wife of the parakeet head or his sister. She later changed her name to "Bonnie Tilly" and went to Indiana. Your half sister Susan became her fake daughter later on and changed her name to "Katrina". But it seems that "Ray Tilly" was making it big with some company "Tilly, Tilly And Tilly Inc." and someone decided to become your uncle namely "George L. Tilly". That's right - Patricia suddenly got a new brother when she was about thirty years old right around the time that Ray died. He had three grand daughters as seen above. And then suddenly Patricia became divorced and the con artists are moving in. They may have said "Wait until her father dies" and then they started moving into position. And if "Harry Chan" had just bought a house that would be another reason to step in. After that I that gather there must have been much deception going on. I thought that you might like to read the article above and find out who "George" is.

"Jennifer Poker Face" - Letter Twenty Five

Dear Emily and Meg, I have not heard from Emily in quite some time. I hope that she is alright as well as yourself. I percieve that something strange may have happened to her. I am not trying to get her into trouble or make her crazy. Recently on the "Kardashians" TV show there was controversy about an affair that the mom had in 1983. That was me! She had sex with me a few days after you "Emily" were conceived. There must be some truth in everything that I am saying because it got Kris nervous. However, I am going to try to explain why I have a strange photo of a transvestite on my "FaceBook" web page. In the photo above, the person appears to be a beautiful sexy girl. He himself claims that his breasts were done with duct tape. Obviously he is lying concerning this. I will tell you a quick story. Me and "Jennifer" once had an affair. She is a massage artist. I do not know if she knew that I was a boy friend of you Meg. To continue, I was once dragged to a house not too far away from my mom's house in "Staten Island" to a home in "Concord" up in the hills. I was brought to the basement. There was "Jennifer" playing cards with the "Barbado's" crowd. She said hello in her "cartoon like" voice. She began to make eyes at me. There was a private room in that basement. She wanted me to go into the bed with her. She stood up and removed her breasts and her face and hair and rolled it up. SHE WAS A SKINNY GUY!!! In my research I discovered the transvestite above. He had his number listed on FaceBook. I phone him but he does not speak good English. He is Mexican and performs in some She-Male beauty peageant. I think that he is lying about the breasts. However, it is proof enough that people can be fooled by such a life-like disguise. There are life-like disguise's of "Jennifer Tilly". I saw it myself! That guy wanted me in the bedroom but I said "No thanks, but I like you better the other way!" There are also life-like disguises of you "Meg". I have life-like parents living at my house on "Vanderbilt Avenue". They chased you away Emily and Meg. A life-like Mom stole all the Christmas presents that you sent me. The con-artist possibilities are endless with such diguises available to the public and to criminals. I have been robbed of having a wife like you Meg and a daughter like you Emily and a son. I am trying my best to explain that I never meant to hurt any of you but we were all victims of con-artists. The photo of you and your sisters are not all real. Remember that Rebecca might be a skinny guy. I do not hallucinate. Emily I am hoping to God that you are not a mannequin. Until my next letter, Love John Moreno

Toga! Toga! - Letter Twenty Four

Dear Meg, Thanks for putting some baby photos of youself and your sister on your blog. Only you forgot to say how old each of you are and I think that your mom and dad were arrested that day. Why? Because the two of you were to young to attend a Toga party. That is why they got divorced. Do you have any pictures of when you were seven or eight or nine or ten or eleven? Thirteen? Fourteen? I would like to see them.

"Katrina" - "Modern Witch Of New York" - Letter Twenty Three

  Hello again Meg, I love the idea that you are alive and on celluloid again! I wish that you could remember me and I hope to see you on screen in America , And in a major flick..... Dear Meg, I never really spoke to you about your so called cousin "Katrina" - the blonde girl who had the exploding blue dress on in your book "Singing Songs" from the 1960's. My mind has returned to me a bit and we meaning Katrina had met again after 1968 at a party at "Kirstie Alley's" apartment at "Daniel Low Terrace". It was in 1980 and the sun was coming up and your sister "Becky" had introduced me to a beautiful semi-tall blonde and she said that it was her cousin. We spoke and I immediately interupted and said "You are from Westervelt Avenue". She was intrigued and said "How do you know?" I explained that I remember her from "Bonnie" and yourself from twelve years earlier. My memory is still vague but we spoke for quite a while and I became extremely attracted to her.  After a lengthy conversation I said that her voice and manorisms where just like an attractive cousin of mine named "Janet Rutkowski". She, by coincidence only lived a block away from you and your guardian "Bonnie" at the time. Katrina was immediately elated and said "Where is she from? - Where does she live?" I told her that she lived not far from where we were standing at the time on "Corson Avenue". As the night went on I had asked her out. We almost made physical contact and I actually had walked her to Janet's house. I do not know if Janet still lived there because we were not close. I do remember that "Mr Brown Pants" had some how showed up on the way. I cannot recall what went on after that but there may have been a hug and kiss and then I walked home to "Vanderbilt". On a later date that year I ran into the "Parakeet Head" who had somehow convinced me that it was okay to take my dad's station wagon and drive him somewhere to New Jersey. The conversation was pleasant and it was not to far from Staten Island. We arrived at a house with a large front yard and it had a swing. On it was swinging a brunette who was attractive wearing shorts and she was swinging on that swing. "Hi Jawn, I'm your cousin Janet!" she said with a beautiful smile. "Hi Katrina and you are not Janet!" I said. "How did you know?" "You are not my cousin Janet!" I stated. "I know but I want to be your cousin Janet" she replied.  "WHAT IS GOING ON?" I said. "I want to be a part of your family" she said nicely. I said "You can be a part of my family - Just go out with me!" She took her brown wig off and I could see her blonde hair tied up in a bun and she said something that I cannot remember right now. But she was angry with me as though I did not like her and suddenly seemed troubled. She left but threatened to be back again. Above is an actual photo of her as my cousin Janet. As you can see the bottom third photo is "Katrina - Empress Of The Night" which was photographed that day in 1980 by the ParaKeet. The upper photos are actual pictures of my cousin from the year 1976. Inside my heart I was not really angry and I found what she did a bit "attractive". Shall I go on? Time had elapsed and my family was having a barbecue in our yard. Katrina had showed up at the gate with a couple of guys. I noticed that her hands were large for a sexy blonde girl and that she was even taller. They wanted to join the party but my father would not allow them in.  She became a bit resentful and left. Time moved on and I was playing "hookie" from "Devry Tecnical Institute" one day - I rode the number 113 bus to Tottenville to forget some family problems. On the bus directly across form me was a beautiful young blonde girl dressed all in black. She was reading a strange book called "The Modern Witch's Spell Book Part II". It was written by a women named "Sarah Morrison". The girl was so cute and I decided to get off the bus near the Staten Island Mall and buy a copy to see what she was reading. The book was utter nonsense from a Biblical stand point, but it must have made money for the author. I compared it to the Bible and there was no truth to any of it - It could even get you arrested.  So time moved on again to June 1985 at which time I was with you "Meg" at the "Rotundra". You had asked me if I ever played games when we were kids. I mentioned that sometimes my cousin "Janet" would play "Bewitched" with us kids when she babysat us. You seemed intrigued and I told you that I am not going to get into that.  We were later questioned by "Mr.Brown Pants" some time later. The conversation leaked out about the witch book and he began to make "Katrina" go after the author to collect the proceeds from that book. One day after the "Rotundra Affair" I was picked up by "Widgett" and taken to "Eltingville" in Staten Island. They had the "Author" - a beautiful blonde women in her early twenties and Katrina was there with Mr. Brown Pants along with the some of the "Barbados Crowd". "You got to tell her that she has to give you the money for that book!" said Garofalo. Katrina was reluctant at first but began to threaten her. The author had a fluffy head of long beautiful blonde hair with a black dress and perfect figure down to her ankles. The author was told that everything was going to be alright and was even laughing.  I do not think that there is a "Spell Book Part III" to this day but I believe that your cousin ended up with that money. The author is no longer with us. Do you think that they would let Katrina keep the money? However, the Barbados crowd and Katrina secretly went after Janet. I was taken to the "Rotundra" again and there was Janet and Katrina. They were friends. "What are you doing here?" I asked Janet. "I am like you - I want to meet Meg Tilly", said Janet. "You two are friends now?" "Yes!" they said. I was not angry and I was happy to see Janet so loose. She also seemed to be high or drunk also. Later in the week I was taken to Corson Avenue to were Janet was raised. She was with a crowd from the Barbados and dressed all in black wearing a short dress hugging and kissing. She then spotted me and began thanking me with hugs and kisses. We made lip contract and fell in love. We ended up on the floor of her old house even though other people owned it now. We made love. I don't know how it happened but I ended up sleeping with my own cousin. She was thankful that she got to meet you - Meg. It seemes like a dream now and somehow the crowd managed to explain our love making to the new owners of the house. "They are with us", Widgett said me . I did not get into trouble but I became full of guilt after I realized what happened. I also was drunk and could not tell if it was really Janet or Katrina. As you can see that now "Katrina" and "Janet" are now "one in the same" judging by the bottom photo. Their magic now turning themselves in the same "He - She". Katrina also wanted revenge on me in 1986 in which I was forced out of a helicopter yet lived. They, drinking the same potion got what they deserved. She seems to be a "Man" now, also a "Mannequinn". Katrina was on the helicopter that I told you about previously. Janet seemed to be owned now by the by the Barbados people. They had a phrase amongst the older gangsters. "She is a Jehovah's Witness" which I discovered to be a code word for "Eye Witness". I do not think that she left the helicopter alive. Nor have I seen Janet since 1986. Until my next letter, Love, John Moreno.

Harry Chan, Chinese Stud - Letter Twenty Two

Dear Meg, I wish to say that I am elated to see you alive in interviews using your own mouth and not still photos. I have learned not to trust the still photos of you and your family and the written articles in the media. Almost all of the information is wrong with one news reporter copying off another news reporter. You look so cute for an elderly chick. Now getting back to why I am writing to you. There seems to be some confusion in my research of your life about how you came into exsistence and your relationship with your sister "Jennifer Tilly". I first met Jennifer on the corner of Corson Avenue and Westervelt Avenue in Staten Island New York in 1968. She said "Hi, I'm Susan!" We immediately took a liking to her because she was tall for her age. Then she said "Actually my name is Jennifer". She was a leader and took care of us well. You were standing nearby when she introduced herself to you saying "Hi, I'm your sister Jennifer!" You started shaking and screamed "I DON'T HAVE A SISTER!". This reaction always stuck out in my mind. This led me to believe that you and Jennifer were raised separately in different households. When Jennifer saw that you became frightened she said "Actually I am a cousin who is like a sister!" and she backed off. She herself was not sure of her relationship toward you. You had just seen her for the first time. She started playing with us kids and we thought that she was very pretty but she wasn't always around like you were. "Bonnie" never really took possesion of Jennifer. She took possesion of you but not her! The theory entered my mind that you have two separate mothers - Patricia Tilly is Jennifer's Mom, and Bonnie Coultas is your mom. But one might say that none of Bonnie's other children are oriental, so how can this be? Katrina is a lovely blonde with Spanish skin. She seemed to be white and hispanic. How can this be? Well I think that when Bonnie lived in California maybe during a cocktail party "Harry Chan" was naughty with Bonnie his sister in law and that is how you came into exsistence. They somehow tried to cover it up by making some other man sign the birth certificate even though Bonnie was single. That would give you the last name of "Coultas". I do not know if the adulterous affair became known to Patricia, but as you know she divorced Harry Chan, And maybe it created a war between Patricia and Bonnie. You may have been abandoned because of this event and some how ended you up in Staten Island. Bonnie did not evan know your first name. She was a double for your real mom. She was too young to be your mom only about 21 years old. The real Bonnie Coultas was in Indiana. Critters? You once brought me to the Critters in 1986. But I also think that "Mr Brown Pants" had both parents eliminated even Jennifer's. Harry did not get divorced - he was eliminated. You and Jennifer were orphans but the late 1960's. By the time you visited Indiana in the early 1970's all those people had been replaced. Therefore, you and Jennifer are half sisters and Katrian is you half sister. I suppose that they rejected you in Indiana. You ended up back in Staten Island in 1976 and you and I ran into each other in the "Jesus Van". They introduced me to you as "Margaret Coultas". They said that you had a problem with fornication and I was told to speak to you about the problem. You and your sister did what you had to to survive. About a year later you yelled out to me "I don't care what you say, I am becoming an actress!!" From then on you were with people in the entertainment bussiness but still being stalked by gangsters. If you got money they were right there to steal it. From your book "Singing Songs" I know that I am right about some of these things. They even made a transsexual Bonnie and maybe you did not notice the difference. I know that I am right about this because it happened to myself and everyone that I know. All my family and friends are missing from kindergarten to the present day. I began looking for everyone that I know back in 1999. I still have not found any of them. The same man that you know was seen around all of them. If I did find someone, they were deformed and had no correct knowledge of the past. In other words they are imposters. They began to enter my house and they made me homeless. When I was with you in Manhattan this is what your guests were trying to do. I think that you were taken in by imposters in the late 1960's who began to torture you and Jennifer. Luckily you escaped some of them by becoming famous. I do not know what became of Katrina only that the last time I saw her she was on the helicoptor with Mr. Brown Pants in the summer of 1986. They threw me out along with one of your doubles. Maybe they threw Katrina out also.The reason I mention this women Katrina is because you and her have the same exact birthday. Is it a coincidence? Or did one of you change your birthday on a new birth certificate? I wish that you would tell me. Harry was a Stereo Salesman. Someone really changes all your info. Because of these changes it is harder to find the truth of the past. I found Katrina recently and she does not know you or me. I believe that Katrina was the one in your book who had the dress on that was ready to explode. It was tourquiose blue. I now have parents who forgot that they have grand children.... Until my next letter, Love, John Moreno

Half Sister Celebrities - Letter Twenty One

Dear Emily, I am happy to see your mom on the screen again. I cannot say it again that she is alive and healthy... I am so happy. I want you to try to speak to me around her for a moment. You may have  two other half sisters that you do not know about.. I will explain. I was once dragged to a house in Long Island by "Auggie" back in 1980. When I got there, your mom was there along with "Tom Berenger" and "Glenn Close". To make a long story short... Glenn Close made a pass at me and we were on her water bed for several hours. It was a huge pink water bed maybe 15 feet by 15 feet. I was beat up by home invaders while we were in bed.... I do not remember if we made love, but she was smoking a cigarette at the end. Look at the photo above and you decide. It turned out to be the setting for "The Big Chill". Your mom was at odds with me during this ordeal, but it mostly Glenn Close's move. Anyway, the whole cast from the film "The Big Chill" was there. I did not know it at the time but Glenn Close was starring in her first film and was upset because I had not seen her film called "The World According To Garp" which was playing in the theatres at the time. She was happy that I did not recognize her saying "It better that you do not recognize me - then we can be friends". Maybe we made love. I have trouble remembering because I was beat up by Tom Berenger and two other people. The above women may be your half sister. While we were in bed, she asked me my name. I was told by certain people to not use my real name. She therefore asked me to use a nickname. So I choose the name  "Richard Starkey". She said "Who is Richard Starkey?" I was surprised that she did not recognize the name  of one of the "Beatles"... A.K.A ..."Ringo Starr".  I said "Richard Starkey is one of the Beatles.. Ringo Starr..". Oh! she said, then I will call you "Dick!". I became a little angry for a moment and said "Don't call me Dickie"... "Dickie, Dickie, Dickie", she was teasing me. So I said "Call me by my real first name... John!!" So she began to call me "John Starkey"... And her daughter is now named "Anna Starke" after a movie producer named "John Starke". What a coincidence! I was beat up several times in those days - even thrown off a roof back in those days and that is why I did not remember until recently. I had even forgot my relationship wjth "Kirstie Alley". The death of "John Lennon" a few months later had caused me to black out the entire year. Now moving forward three years, I had the affair with Meg in my 73 Monte Carlo in September - October 1983. Shortly after that - maybe a week after I was wandering around when I got flagged down by the "ParaKeet Head". "Let's take a ride", he said. We ended up in Woodbridge New Jersey in the Woodbridge Mall parking lot. There was a women with a black pixie hairdo in a police type uniform talking with a man with gold framed glasses who resembled "Omar Gadafy". The ParaKeet got out and was beginning to speak with them. After about three minutes the women in the uniform opened my door and asked me what I was doing here. I became nervous and said "I not doing nothing". "Oh yeah?". she said. I thought that she was a female police officer for a moment when her shirt was opening and she exposed her breasts and began kissing me. I followed through when she removed one pant leg and we began to make love in the same seat as Meg. Without going into the rest of the gory details, her daughter was born in June 1984, almost the same time as you Emily. Her photo is above along with her mom - we will call her "Cleopatra Kadaphy" for now. It may be a coincidence or maybe she was already pregnant - I do not know but maybe she is your half sister. Sorry to get so personal. I am not rich but maybe you can secretly DNA her and me and you and David and Anna Starke and..... I can't remember. I have not seen anything on the internet with you in it lately. I hope that you are alright. Until my next letter, Love, John Moreno.